something euclidean

Thanks for the most excellent crits! They were all very helpful and I appreciate it tons. I'm stripping the poem down to the bones and fixing the clarity issues, hopefully. ...

That's actually a good thing to do if you're wondering how strikingly original something you've written is going to be: google lines and phrases. Google will show you the truth, ...

Considering this is your first attempt at poetry, well done [much, much better than the absolute nonsense I wrote when I started out]. Still, there are a lot of things ...

A good place to learn that kind of rhyme and rhythm you're looking for would be Saul Williams. ",said the shotgun to the head" excerpt For the poem quoted below: ...

Hail! to the uttermost fear in Time to the Great Wheel's turning. We sense the end drawing near as the sands of the sea begin burning. you might want to ...

You have given me [s]in abunudance [/s] A childhood’s worth of broken promises My small hands stored them away Inside a diary garden I secretly tended Hoping that someday, your ...

The Lake The wavelets of the lake pat against your ankles, like a wagging soggy dog ready to shake and ecstatic to discover a wet coat's ability to cause absolute ...

The gears of this world are well-oiled with sweat from our brows and backs, black tides of war clicking over there's an excellent sound to all of this; I can ...

The major problem with this -- if you took out the linebreaks you'd have prose with rhyme. Besides the rhyme and the linebreaks there aren't any poetic devices to set ...

i have no more poetry to give, to lay upon the altar of your shoulderblades; beads of words trapped as sweat in the valley of your back. i have barely ...

On occasion. I think sometimes the rain technique can get overused, and that it should rain when nothing important is happening, sometimes. I like it when things happen in a ...

Really you should have a capital for the first word of every line if it's a poem... arg! please don't propagate that myth. Capitalization in poetry is subjective and open ...

I really liked Tamora Pierce's books - they were fun, they got to be more well-written as time went on (it's good to see a published author who keeps working ...

Towards the end this gets a little bit wordy, mainly here: To say she was an ordinary girl would be unkind; as the heroine and princess of this story she ...

Generation Loss - Elizabeth Hand In the Forest of Forgetting - Theodora Goss. The latter is a really beautiful and strange collection of short stories that are somewhere between poem, ...